My Dear Friends,

I know it will come as a shock to you when I say One has been missing from One’s desk over the past few months, but here we are again six months after One’s last blog.

The Royal J-Mo caravan has been trixied up and put back on the road, this time for a few months in Hollywood. The sitcom pilot season is in full swing and it seemed silly to have another season go by without a little slice of the Mo.

The trip from Sydney to LAX was gruelling to say the least; the entire family were accidentally upgraded to business class thanks to some hurtfully handsome cabin crew on V Australia. Forcing myself to stay horizontal for 14 hours while sucking champagne through a glitter-pink- crazy straw certainly took me back to my halcyon days in the late 80’s, most of the 90’s and let’s face it, nearly every day ‘til about an hour ago.

Of course the theory of being upgraded meant we were in store for maximum relaxation and the holy grail of travel… sleep. The irony of being upgraded was that we were all so excited we couldn’t sleep… just drink and eat. There is nothing more attractive than parents of toddlers cruising through customs with booze rising like a spirit level in their eyes. Mummy needs a water.

My husband Dan and I have taken a delicious home in the Hollywood Hills up behind the Kodak Theatre and, in the style of the locals, are trying to take ourselves quite seriously. Never more seriously that when I am at the gym. Everyone seems to have their eyes on ‘The Burn’, while I am just trying to look busy until the hour is up. It can be very draining.

The change rooms are actually more stressful than the workout. May I ask you a personal question? Do you get uneasy when presented with a line up of multinational beaver? Not just furry patches, we’re talking full bear with a pink backpack. No judgement, I’m just saying that as I make my way back to my locker mummified from earlobes to ankles in my 8ft bath sheet I would prefer not to have an involuntary extrusion of my stomach contents, that’s all.

In order to be considered for lots of roles and not just those rare Australian ones (that’s not a knife), I have been working on my American accent. It’s been loads of fun as I drive through the LA streets. The local advice is just say out loud what you see… so a typical practice session would be seeing McDonalds, Carls Jnr, In & Out Burger, Burger King, Vons and … thank god I brought my All Bran over with me.

Dan and I renewed our vows at a drive-through wedding chapel in Vegas a couple of weeks ago. In our usual style with anything romantic like that, it was very deep. Our original wedding in Vegas was 4 years ago so we thought we needed a little top up. The little women were with us and they made it really special by eating chips throughout the ceremony. It certainly made it that much more emotional for us all when a crinkle cut caught at the back of the baby’s throat right before the “I do’s”. Nothing says “I Love You” like your baby hoiking in the background.

Had the best time a few weeks ago in the audience of Ellen (Yes some of you did spot me, well done!) and OH MY GOD she is gorgeous. She seriously looks about 20 in the flesh and I did lean forward to lick her on the face during the dancing opener but was stopped by security in the nick of time.

Last week I had superb fun auditioning for the team at Jay Leno. The gig was down at Hermosa Beach (about 45 mins from the private home) and at a club called “Comedy and Magic”. Well, the crowd were both. The gig was way too much fun and I was much less nervous to be in the green room with a big group of really established comedians who were also poo-ing their pants about going on stage. I have not felt real nerves since the late 70’s so it was a refreshing change.

The show went well so now we just wait for the next step. In the meantime I’m just heading to auditions, melting like ice creams in acting classes and generally having sensational LA times… today I even passed on having butter. I’ve really changed.

Hope you are way too well and I can’t wait to hear your news.

Love J-Mo x

February 2010

One Comment

  1. Julie C
    Posted March 30, 2010 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    Are you the Julie Morris that was in New Caledonia – the first time you were at Club Med?

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